[LL Cool J]
Yeah,
Yeah I like that guitar man, yeah
Yo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar man
Know what I'm saying? It was a good idea man, ya know what I'm saying? Yeah
It's kinda like freaking me, ya know what I'm saying?
I want to get hype man, I want to do this, ya know what I'm saying?
Just goin' chill, check it out

Slick as Vaseline, smell good as cologne
I'm like a muscle man in jail, they leave me alone
I rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy Olson
I break you like a bottle of green Golden Molson
You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress
How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do I look like a mattress?
Am I that old, do I walk like Grady?
I'ma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80
Don't you EVER try to rock my house
I'm a real cool cat, know what I'm saying Mickey Mouse?
The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this
Now think about it, can you really come close to this?
You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler
Ugly as work shoes, messing with the Ruler:
The ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer
I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer

[Chorus: LL Cool J]
Clap your hands everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)
Clap your hands everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)
I said, clap your hands everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)
Clap your hands everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)

You end up, underneath my sneaker
You're dog doo-doo, I'm watching you get weaker
You can't believe, the skill and dexterity
LL Cool J, and the J is for Jeremy
So BUFF ME, James Todd the earthquake-r
That's right my brother, you're going out like Sega
{*censored*} chewed, so whats up dude?
One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood
Sucker MC's really make me sick
I'm so bad, I can suck my own {dick}
If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already
Don't go Crazy cause my name ain't Eddie
Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry
When Einstein was talking, he was talking bout ME
The Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birth
To a rhyme so hard you look soft as a Smurf
Giggling and wiggling, so how we going out?
Lovely, and that's without a doubt!

[Chorus]

Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor
When I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature
And cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers
Not the ones on the table, I'm talking about RUFF rovers
You can't get over, what's my name, Goofy?
You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys
And take a pull, cause the buck stops here
I get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and disappear
Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty
To the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royalty
And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle
Paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle
To shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet
I'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY IT
The Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athletic
Before you play your hand you better do some calisthenics
Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine
Speak your piece, then I'ma go for mine
And I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike again
I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in
Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten
I ain't Sidney Poitier but we can 'Do This Again'
I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit it
You don't really want to battle, why don'tcha just forget it!

[Chorus]

[LL Cool J]
But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand
Here's a little sample, my man

"Hello?"

"Cool J" [Scratched]
"takes everything you've got"
"pushing a broom" [Scratched]
"sure would help a lot"

Check my stats, how we living, I thought so
I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no
My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point
I'm telling you, they're the serious joint
I eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slow
My voice is milky with a nice clear flow
I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo
I'm not a ballplayer, so now ya know!

Clap your hands everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)
Cause I rock the house, everybody (hey yo)
And everybody just clap your hands (hey yo)

Know what I'm saying? And I'ma be straight til the year 3000
That's word to mother, know what I'm saying?
And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory ya know what I'm saying?
Cause I'm the victor in this game, word up
Know what I'm saying? That's what time it is, peace

That man, he sure is funky, funky, funky!
Funky! Funky, he sho' is!
You best believe he's funky!
You didn't know? funky!

Writer : SMITH, FAST EDDIE/SMITH, PETER
Copyright : Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC