[Chorus]
What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor

[Verse 1]
The name of this entertainement is 'Women lose weight'
Our first years of mariage everything was just great
But after two kids And a weight gain factor
The fact is Now she's completely unattractive
Look fat chicks I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym And don't eat so much food
But no Your shallow
You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth
But how if desire's is not there That's just delayment
Divorce is, child support, alimony payments
My happiness I doubt discouraged
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
Meanwhile my secretary June well groomed
When you gonna leave your wife I tell her soon mommy soon, I assume
Or my destiny is blue Interestingly The only thing left for me to do is to kill her

[Chorus]
What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
I'm gonna have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
I'm gonna have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss

[Verse 2]
My plans against or shenanigans Kinda ran thin
Knowin' nothing about poisoning And I can't swim
Bad intentions pumping Might as well become numb
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
But the catch is do I have the nerve to dispatch this
Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick
I guess I'll have to play a dude robbin
On Wednesday The day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway long story short hit the side of her Chrysler
And sent her clean over the divider
"You bastard" she said
As the wreck went tumblin down the hill I thought "she has to be dead"
Later on get a call (from a) Lieutenant O'Rourke
(had me) leapin like a frog We need you at the morgue
So I selfishly pursue
"boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do I had to kill her

[Chorus]
What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
C'mon ya'll know I had to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss Kill her
What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
I had to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss

[Verse 3]
So you mean to tell me officer you don't have no clue who did this hit and run
No sir we don't have no clues right now
This is terrible what am I gonna tell the kids?
Pull yourself together sir
I'm so broken up inside I just can't believe this
I understand, I understand
Catch the person who did this
We're gonna try sir Please
Screamin "who done took my heart" acting shakin up a lot
At the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like I did it
Like I was the reason my mates slain murmuring
"I heard he was displeased with her weight gain"
While my secretary sort of a sexy blonde can't cook
All she does is order from restaurants
All of the sex you want I doubt could address,
Clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and
Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
How I took a long lunch break day the wife died
I darn near turned pale
And because of betrayal they indicted me, and gave me an impossible bail
Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
Moral of the story is
Desire is important
So watch your weight It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given
Though looking back I realised I didn't have to kill her

[Chorus]
What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
I didn't have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
I killed her
What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor
I didn't have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss

Well there you have it Keep thin trim Keep your mariage healthy Do you know what I mean?
Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the ruler
Peace

Writer : RICKY WALTERS, SKYE EDWARDS, PAUL GODFREY, ROSS GODFREY
Copyright : Lyrics © CHRYSALIS SONGS , Universal Music Publishing Group