A Sultan sat on his oriental mat
In his harem in downtown Persia.
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip,
And he said to his servant Kersia,
"Aw curse ya', curse ya', curse ya',
That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia!" 'cause

Chorus:
All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper copper coffee pot.
I may be off my dot,
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot.
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me.
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee
In a proper copper coffee pot,
I'll have a cup of tea.

In days of old, when knights and men were bold,
And whiskey was much cheaper.
Ben Turpin rode to a coffee shop
And showed his pistols to the keeper
He said, "Stand and deliver!
Can't you see that I'm all a quiver?" 'cause

Chorus

When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart
And he lost that Waterloo fight.
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord, and he said,
"Those British can't half fight.
Now you've had your Waterloo, sir, tell me what
Am I having with you, sir?" 'cause

Chorus (with French accent)

Now King Solomon and his queen would carry on,
So we heard in the ancient scandals.
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots
With diamond legs and handles.
And said the queen of Sheeba,
"I'd rather have any old tea bag," 'cause

Chorus
Chorus (fast)
Chorus (really fast)

Writer : WESTON, R.P./LEE, BERT
Copyright : Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing