Hear ye, hear ye
This court is now in session
His Honor, Judge Pigmeat Markham presidin
Hear ye, hear ye, the court of swing

It's just about ready to do that thing
I don't want no tears, I don't want no lies
Above all, I don't want no alibis
This Judge is hip, and that ain't all

He'll give you time if you're big or small
All in line for this court is neat
Peace brother, here comes the Judge
Here comes the Judge

Everybody knows that he is the judge
Everybody near or far
I'm goin' to Paris to stop this war
All those kids gotta listen to me

Because I am the judge and you can plainly see
I want to big 'round table when I get there
I won't sit down to one that's square
I want to lay down the law to them that brought it

I'll bust some head because I am the judge
He is the judge, he is the judge
Who's there? I is. I is who?
I is your next door neighbor

Order in this courtroom, order in this courtroom
Judge, your Honorship, Hi sir
Did I hear you say "Order in the Court?"
Yes I said order in the court

Well, I'll take two cans of beer, please
He is the judge, he is the judge
Everybody knows that he is the judge
I had a chat with Ho Chi Min

With cheap rice wine and chased with gin
Won't take long unless I miss my guess
I'll have you out of this doggone mess
I sent a cable to Bob and Mac

Let them know I'm comin' back
Sit right down with Rock and Nick
Teach them boys some of Pigmeat's tricks
Oh, oh judge, your Honor, Pigmeat said

"Don't you remember me??"
No, who are you, boy
Well, I'm the feller that introduced you
To your wife... to my wife?

Yeah, life! You son-of-a-gun you
Come November, election time
You vote your way, I'll vote mine
'Cause there's a tie, and the money gets spent

Vote for Pigmeat Markham, President
I am the judge, vote for Pigmeat
I am the judge, vote for Pigmeat
Now, everybody knows I am the judge

Writer : DICK ALEN, BOB ASTOR, DEWEY MARKHAM, SARAH HARVEY
Copyright : Lyrics © REGENT MUSIC CORPORATION