I wouldn't be glad wouldn't be sad
I wouldn't be good if I knew what I could
And I hate to go
But I must you know

Duty calls
Niagara falls
See it go down
As it falls on the ground
And gets up again
At the count of ten

I would like everyone here to repeat after me
Something of which I know nothing about
Namely that which I will tell you
(that which I will tell you)
I'm going to school breaking a rule
I'm going around in a pitiful frown
Cause I didn't pass (came)
Bottom of the class (oh! what a shame)

Teacher was mad
So was me dad
Took off his belt
And without any help
Really hit me hard
Where I'd stuck a card

Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not
Always remember the golden rule
When in no doubt get a car out
And while you're there how about,
Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills
Boy! I really love the sound that they make
So good for the pains and aches of life in general
Don't be such a miser

At the most a fiver's all you pay
Many's the time
I have wondered about what it is
I want you all to repeat after me
Something I know you know I know
(Something I know you know I know)
I wouldn't behold wouldn't be cold
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my

Dear old mum and dad
And the fun they had
Early one night
Dad put out the light
Got hold of me mum
Said he wanted a son
And as you can see
The result was me

Somebody told me once money does not grow on trees
Well if that's true then how do you explain
Apples oranges and lemons
Not forgetting melons

Writer : O'SULLIVAN, GILBERT
Copyright : Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, UNIVERSAL MUSIC-CAREERS OBO GRAND UPRIGHT MUSIC LTD