If I was in the fridge, would you open the door?
If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn?
If I was your body, would you still wear clothes?
If I was a booger, would you blow your nose?
Would you keep it? would you eat it?
I'm just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around.

If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang?
If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing?
If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce
Up and down inside your bank account?
Would ya trust me, not to break you?
I'm just tryin really hard to make you,
Notice me being around.

If I was a haircut would you wear a hat?
If I was a maid, could I clean your flat?
If I was the carpet would ya wipe your feet,
In time to save me from mud off the street?
If you like me, if you love me,
Why don't you get down on your knees
And scrub me?
I'm a little grubby
From being around.

Writer : DANDO, EVAN/MORGAN, TOM
Copyright : Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group