Laugh when he jokes, slap him when he chokes.

It's time to give up the smokes.

And ohh when he cries don't wipe his eyes,

take the wine from the swine,

and remind him of his crimes.

Ohh in another world............

yeah he could wear a dress.

Imagine his surprise when he opened his eyes,

and I'd run the lawnmower over his thighs.

Imagine the disturbance,

at the time of the occurrence,

when his life became a burden,

and we laughed at his cries.

Welcome to the cheap seats,

where your life's seen through cracked spectacles.

Writer : TREECE, MALCOLM GILKS, MARTIN HUNT, MILES BELL, MARTIN CLIFFORD, PAUL
Copyright : Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group